Never Forget

Your silence is so deafening
Everyday I want to talk to you
But I am reminded of my effect on you
How could love be such a cruel thing?

It’s not fair for you to be so far
It kills me when I remember
We are not together anymore,

And some day soon
I’ll see someone else in your arms
And I’ll have to be okay with it

But the truth is
I’ll never be okay with it.

Why couldn’t things be the way they once were?
When I was in your arms
You would gently kiss my head
And I knew everything would be okay.

But now I’m haunted by memories of you
And each day they are fading,

I can’t remember the scent of your cologne
I can’t remember the taste of your kiss
I can’t remember the feeling of your hand in mine
But I can never forget the way you made me feel

I can never forget your tear filled eyes
I can never forget the day it ended
I can never forget the hours of crying
But hopefully one day I’ll forget the pain
And never regret the love we had.

New day

Today is a new day.
A day of new beginnings,
A day of separation,
Separation for the past
And separation from you

I’m letting go of the holds you had on me
I’m letting go of you
There’s a new boy in my heart
No more room for you

Today is a new day
A day of fear
A day of anxiety
Anxiety and fear of opening up
You’ve found the crack
Into my soul
And that terrifies me.

Today is a new day
A day of hope
A day of excitement
Hope for a future
A future of excitement
Holding promise of a better life

Today is a new day
A day you asked me to be yours
A day I became yours
It’s a promise of a broken heart?
It’s a promise of a day in white?

Under lock and key...

Why is it easier
To be numb?

Why is it easier
To push you away?

Why is it easier
To put up walls?

I’m afraid
Of you
Of love
Of hurting.

I may be numb,
But I can still feel your pain.
You’re so far away
But I can feel you.

There may be a wall separating us.
But I still watch you through the cracks
The cracks are a sliver of hope,
Maybe an inner weakness?

I don’t deceive you.
There is a key somewhere
That will unlock
This guarded heart

You’re not the first to look for it,
You’re not the first to try your luck
Many before have tried their key,
Only to watch it rust
In their pathetic hands

There is only one key
There is only one way to break the walls
There is only one way to make me feel again

But there are,
So many questions,
And far too few answers.

So I’m left
Numb,
Scared,
And hiding,
But at least I’m safe?

Is there anything left to love?

A flower only has so many petals,
Every time one more is taken,
I can’t help but wonder,
What happens when the last is given away?

Is there anything left to love?
Who could love a flower without petals?
What man would keep a fruitless tree?

When love is free,
Who’s left to fight for?
Why bother waiting
When life is nothing more than instant gratification.

We live in the moment,
So we can die in the next.
What for?
Just a hint of truth?

What if the truth isn’t what we want to hear?
Effortlessly we tune to another station
It has become too easy,
To run,
To hide.

Stop playing with the dial
The truth is here,
The truth is now.

Stop throwing love around,
It is not just another four letter word,
It is far from an everyday feeling.

Guard yourself
Save something for tomorrow
Before there is nothing left to love.

Push past the fear (revised)

It’s time to push past the fear
And hold back the tears
While we look for the day
When we find the truth

The hour we find the connection
Between you and me
The minute we find the rose in a pile of thorns
The second we find the smile hidden in the shadows

Whether you are tall or short,
Black or white,
There is really no difference,

We are all looking for
The light in the darkness
The music in our silent world

We are all searching for something to hold us together
But only finding ways to drive us apart

We connect by disconnecting
Mechanically decaying from the inside out

We leave our mark
By marking those around us

We strive for a beauty beyond words
Only to end up destroy the beauty around us

We live by watching the lives of others
Leaving us with a disillusioned reality
No longer able to tell the difference
Between whom we think we are,
And the person within

We are nothing more than
A bunch of souls
Broken and searching
Searching for something more
Something real
Something to hold in our trembling hands

But the thought of something greater
Is so out of reach
So out of sight
In the back of our minds
Dusty and unused
Forgotten and trampled
Like our childhood dreams

Have we forgotten what means to be alive?
Have we surrendered to mere existence?

No one chooses to be blind
So why do we refuse to see?

It’s time to push past the fear
And hold back the tears
And look for the day
When we find the truth

Look in the mirror

Today came and ended
As fast a spark of fire
In a field of fog
It did not come without its surprises

I met a girl today
She had much to share
With no words
She gave her story

She was the girl in the mirror
She held her head up high
While looking around
To see who was in the room,

I watched from a distance
My presence was left unknown

I watched as she pulled out a knife
Lifted her purple sleeve
And made a cut
She winced in pain
Her tears made puddles on the counter surrounding her

She looked so perfect
So gentle and fair
Why did she hurt herself?
I wondered in disbelief

She was to be the prom queen
She had everything
That one could only begin to dream of

Such beauty
Came at a price
The price was the mask she wore
Hiding the pain
Holding back the tears
Walking in fear
Of being alone

This girl in the mirror
Knew none of what I saw
To myself I will keep
This experience I will never share

I wondered who she was
Deep inside
She was obviously hiding
No one really knew
This secret that she bared

For years and years
Nobody really knew
4 years have gone by
Since that day
I met the girl

Something has changed
Something is different
She looks happy
So peaceful and sweet
Everyone around is swimming in her charismatic joy
If only they knew about that day
I met the girl in the mirror.

Better man

I wish you were a better man,

So I could hold on to our precious moments

Just like the other girls.

I wish I could look forward,

To the day, you walk me down the aisle.

Hating you like this hurts

It hurts when I fall

And there’s no one there to help me up

I walk through this evil world

Without your guiding strength

It’s slowly eating away at my soul,

Killing my innocence

And starving my smile.

Each time I cannot smile

I give my body

For love,

A father’s love

I’m dying to be daddy’s little girl

I wonder every day

If my father up above

Is just like you

Never there

Never listening,

I wish you were a better man

I wish I could be daddy’s little girl.